Jul 19: There is no try, only overdo.

Jul 12: On going out (very very out.)

Jul 05: Any time I want.

Jun 28: It's called "memory curation", thank-you-very-much!

Jun 21: But is it more or less flattering?

Jun 14: Depends on what you're trying to accomplish.

Jun 07: Come for the silly optimism, stay for the outrage?

May 31: Do I even have to say the lawn thing?

May 24: My other qualification is I am very, very drunk.

May 17: Mother nature wants us to get out more...

May 10: You don't want to be in that category.

May 03: Resistance training.

Apr 26: Sometimes, getting insulted can be an education.

Apr 19: Civic duty, but under the table.

Apr 12: In this case, maybe let the perfect be the enemy of the creepy.

Apr 05: Somebody's humor algorithm needs work.

Mar 29: And put that moon back right now!

Mar 22: Well, one, but it was an eating tournament.

Mar 15: As problems go...

Mar 08: A whole new level of goofy-looking for business attire.